Do you ever find yourself running on empty, pushing through your days despite feeling depleted?…
There is no better time to be curious than when you’re triggered.
The Power of Curiosity: Your Secret Weapon When Triggered
Picture this: Your coworker takes credit for your project. Your child ignores your requests for the fifth time. Your partner seems distant and unaffectionate. In these moments, your heart pounds, your jaw clenches, and your mind leaps to conclusions. We’ve all been there— triggered and ready to react.
What if I told you there’s a powerful tool that could help you create deeper connections instead? Learn practical ways to transform triggering moments into opportunities for growth and break free from automatic reactions.
The Hidden Cost of Quick Judgments
When triggered, our brain does what it’s designed to do—it jumps to conclusions to protect us. It’s like having an overprotective friend who assumes everyone is out to get you. While well-intentioned, this automatic response:
- Blocks our intuition
- Keeps us stuck in survival mode
- Traps us in limiting patterns
- Prevents us from seeing the full picture
Enter Curiosity: Your Bridge to Clarity
Curiosity is more than just asking questions—it’s a mindset that can completely transform how you navigate difficult moments. As my colleague Tanis Frame wisely notes, “Curiosity replaces judgment.” When you pause to get curious, something remarkable happens. That moment of pause creates vital space between the trigger and your response, allowing your inner wisdom to emerge. From this more settled place, you see situations with fresh eyes, noticing nuances and possibilities you might have missed. This openness naturally leads to more authentic connections with others as you move from reactive patterns into genuine presence.
Why Your Brain Resists Curiosity (And How to Work With It)
Here’s the truth: if you’re human, your brain is constantly making snap judgments. It’s not your fault—your brain is wired to avoid uncertainty at all costs. That space between trigger and conclusion? It’s uncomfortable. It’s uncertain. Your brain would jump to any conclusion instead of sitting in that discomfort.
Practical Ways to Cultivate Curiosity When Triggered
The next time you feel that familiar surge of emotion, try these approaches:
- Notice your immediate reaction without judgment
- Ask yourself: “What is this judgment trying to protect me from?”
- Get curious about your assumptions:
- Am I trying to shield myself from others’ misconceptions?
- Is this about protecting my confidence?
- Am I avoiding uncomfortable feelings?
The Transformative Power of Staying Curious
When you choose curiosity over judgment, something remarkable happens. Those triggering moments become portals to transformation. Through curiosity, you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and naturally cultivate more authentic relationships. Your decisions become clearer as you move beyond reactive patterns, and you experience a new sense of emotional freedom that comes from responding to life with openness rather than judgment.
As I share in my book Mystical Intimacy, curiosity is more than a mental exercise—it’s a way of life that welcomes all of your emotions and perceptions with acceptance and compassion.
Your Invitation to Wonder
Today, I invite you to experiment with curiosity. The next time you feel triggered, pause, take a breath, and ask yourself, “What might I discover if I get curious instead of jumping to conclusions?”
Remember, the goal isn’t to never get triggered—it’s to transform those triggers into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. By cultivating curiosity, you’re not just changing your reactions—you’re changing your relationship with life itself.
What triggers do you notice in your daily life? How might curiosity help you see them differently?
The mind dislikes uncertainty because it is programmed to survive.
The mind jumps to conclusions to close the gap between not knowing and the safety of being certain of yourself and your situation.
We are so uncomfortable with not knowing that we quickly defend, justify or explain ourselves to the point of missing out on the moment’s opportunity for simplicity and precision.
The ego mind’s main objective is to protect you from harm, even if that harm is merely perceived. After all, you’re better safe than sorry. Except that most of the time, the perceived threat isn’t real; it’s a projection, an unconscious memory, a trigger.
So what do you do with the trigger, and ultimately, what do you do with uncertainty?
You stop leaping to conclusions by becoming aware that you’re leaping to conclusions—that you’re making assumptions, discriminating and trying to control your life and other people.
The key here is to recognize that your mind is extremely uncomfortable with uncertainty and that you’re in judgment to mitigate that discomfort.
How about becoming more and more comfortable with the unknown by cultivating curiosity?
You might ask yourself, “What is my assumption, judgement, or conclusion… trying to accomplish?
Are your assumptions, judgements, or conclusions trying to…
- Protect you from other people’s misconceptions of you?
- Defend you from your own lack of confidence?
- Deflect uncomfortable feelings?
When you ask yourselves these questions, instead of your judgement becoming a way to guard yourself against disappointment and loss, for instance, you gain an understanding of how you’re interacting with others. In this way, you have a greater ability to make clear choices because being consciously aware of your mental focus allows you to refocus.
By being curious, you transform judgment into discernment and love. Curiosity completely disarms difficult situations and brings about change.
In my book Mystical Intimacy, Masiandia says that when we cultivate wonderment, we see the world through intrigue, receptivity and openness.
“Curiosity is a way of life that welcomes all of your emotions and perceptions with acceptance and compassion.
“Your work on this planet is to fall in love with the Earth and all its inhabitants, which begins by falling in love with yourself. It’s so much easier than it seems. Begin by being curious about all your life experiences. Marvel at the complexity of feelings and sensations that you are constantly experiencing. Cherish everything! Let surrender play a larger role in between your thoughts. Suspend your judgements and remain willing to see, sense, hear, smell, and know so much more than you think you know.”
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